im just really really sad right now because meg was in love with cas
I’m moving to Uni tomorrow, so I probably won’t be around much. I hope you kids are all having fun at dashcon (or whatever con it is that’s on at the moment!). Wish me luck!
I know Rick and Kieren’s relationship, or slow stumbling towards one wasn’t perfect. But it upsets when people assume that if it had continued that Rick would have ended up abusive, just because his father was.
I have personal experience with what Rick went through with his dad. At the time, I didn’t consider it abuse because it was just what happened when I did something ‘wrong’ that needed to be corrected. This could mean anything from answering back, to dropping something by accident, or just being in the way of a parent’s bad temper. It was only as I got older that I realised my father’s punishment often went beyond discipline. Even in high school I thought classmates whose parents didn’t hit them were somehow spoilt.
Rick is raised in an environment where his father is regarded as a pillar of the community. There’s no indication that Bill Macy has ever been pulled up on his behaviour towards Rick. His behaviour seems to be tacitly approved of, so how could Rick ever think that it wasn’t him who was in the wrong and that his dad’s actions weren’t warranted. Despite this, when it really matters and to protect another person he stands up to his father and is killed because of it.
There is of course the possiblity that no-one knew the extent of Bill Macy’s emotional manipulation of his son. When Bill asks Rick, “Do you want to be in the good books or the bad books?” on the surface it’s an inoffensive comment, but to Rick it obviously means something far worse than just his father being disappointed in him. The comment is something that can be said in public, but that has a subtext to the person it is directed at. To anyone who has had that kind of relationship with a parental figure it is chilling. We never see Bill hit his son, but I’d be surprised if that wasn’t something that happened.
Despite the emotional, verbal (and potentially physical) abuse that Rick has been subjected to he does not re-enact this in his relationship with Kieren. He obviously has a lot of rage but, and this is important, the anger he feels is directed away from people. When Bill tells him that Kieren killed himself and calls his death “a weak ending for a weakling” he reacts not by taking his father to task but by firing his gun at a target and getting the bullseye his father couldn’t. This action is self-protective as after dealing with Bill for years he has learned the worth of keeping his emotions under control.
Later, when talking to Kieren in the car about his death he explodes, punching and hitting the car dashboard. This seems almost to be a kind of self-punishment, hurting himself when Kieren tells him he was part of the reason for Kieren’s suicide. It’s interesting to note that when Rick does this he turns his body away from Kieren and tucks down into himself, as far away as he can get from Kieren in the confined space of the car.
Rick is a young man who knows the scars that abuse can cause, and his ‘abandonment’ of Kieren was him doing what he thought (however mistaken) would be best for both of them. Rick thinking Kieren was better off without him is emblematic of the lack of self-worth Bill Macy instilled in him. The idea that Rick is somehow an embryonic version of his father, an abuser-to-be because he was abused, does a disservice to his character and the nuanced writing of In the Flesh.
PISSED ON THE WORLD
CALLED US DUST HE VERBALLY FLIPPED DEAN OFF WHEN HE SUGGESTED THAT THEY HELD ANY IMPORTANCE TO A BEING SO UNFATHOMABLY ETERNAL AS DEATH HE’S GOING TO FUCKING REAP GOD ONE DAY
HE IS HONORED TO REAP SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER
DON’T TOUCH ME
Damn it I need a hug right now. Like one of those hugs that lasts for a few minutes and eventually becomes this cuddle session that last for a few hours, where we don’t have to talk, we just have to hold each other. That’s basically what I want.